Of all the Four Pillars (Planning, Purchasing, Preparing and Partaking), it’s the fourth pillar that I think about the least. It seems as if I continually focus on the first three to get through the day.
I’m all over meal planning for the week, and when it comes to purchasing, I’m diligent in creating a list, staying within our budget, and sticking to that list. Once I have the first two pillars handled, I move on to preparing meals with stealth-like precision. I know what I’m serving each day, I have the pantry stocked, start prepping items early, and time out the process making of the meal so I can get it on the table at a specific time.
By the time it’s ready for the table, I slip into my seat alongside the family, and exhale. Ahh, success. The meal is on the table, so let’s just eat.
Our family has always been diligent about sitting down for dinner together. And for the most part, our mealtimes have been engaging. Time spent together at mealtime serves as a place we connect, settle in and hear what’s going on with each other. A place to teach, a place to learn, a place to feel safe.
But lately I’m feeling that I just don’t want to be around the table together for too long. I’m guessing that it’s because we’ve been here at the house, in each other’s way as we’ve sheltered in place for the past few months. More often than not, our dinner conversations have been less than satisfying, and it seems as if we’re all rushing to get through the mealtime and clean-up so we can disperse throughout the house to check our phones, play a video game, or catch up on emails.
Gathering around the table is an opportunity, and lately I’ve been ignoring that opportunity. The family dinner has always been a part of our lives, but now that we’re here together, all day long, I’m craving something a bit more. Our lives certainly have been a bit slower since so many of our activities outside the house have been curtailed, but why am I feeling a sense of urgency to get away from the table as fast as I can?
I have always marveled at the dinners I enjoyed during my travels – sitting for hours with Italian friends, while in the kitchen the pots, pans and plates continued to pile up. We’d sit talking about anything – politics, the dog, the locals, and the miniscule things happening with the host’s family members I had never met.
Similarly, I’ve enjoyed lazy afternoon meals in France, sitting out in the yard, nibbling on cheese, pate, and freshly picked fruits while sipping on Pastis. We seemingly had nothing to do, except sit, talk and enjoy life.
As for the celebrations closer to home, I am missing the gatherings with friends. The times we can partake in a full meal, or just small bites and cocktails, while we sit, talk and laugh together. Food took us through those hours. That’s the kind of stuff I truly enjoy. Clearly, I need to reset my mealtime mind, and once again think about the quality of us all being around the table.
Gathering around the table, the Partaking, is just as important as all the Planning, Purchasing and Preparing. The end goal is so much more than the act of getting a meal on the table, it is the experience that happens when we do gather.
In fact, the Fourth Pillar, Partaking, is truly the prize. Regardless of where we are eating, who is joining us for that meal, we need to remind ourselves that what gives us sustenance is not only the food on the table, but those who are there with us.
Gather around the table. Stop, slow down, and enjoy the food, the family and the friendship. It seems like we need a bit of that right now.
It’s time to “Reconnect with the food we eat and the family we love.”
