When I think about who influenced me most in the kitchen, the one who prepared those recipes that bring me such joy, eliciting memories, I often refer to the women in my life — my Mom, my aunts, and my grandmothers. The men in my family rarely cooked, but always enjoyed the meals.
I’m rethinking my answer, and finding that my Dad should get a bit of credit.
My dad wasn’t much of a cook. We used to joke that the only thing he could make was Campbell’s Bean with Bacon Soup. And, there was a time, about 20 years ago, that he owned a George Foreman Grill. I’m sure that indoor grill prepared a good number of burgers and steaks through the years.
He was kind of a picky eater – well, maybe just a simple, straightforward eater. He didn’t have a tolerance for anything too fancy; sticking to the meat and potato fare that he enjoyed during his Cleveland upbringing.
His veggies of choice were green beans, raw radishes or cauliflower dipped in salt, and sliced tomatoes (again – with salt). Other than that, he usually passed on the vegetables.
He liked peanut butter on apples, peanut butter smothered on top of a burger, and grandma’s peanut butter cookies.
He loved coffee – and often drank cold coffee – no, not cold brewed coffee, just cold coffee, most likely brewed a day or two ago – either still sitting in the Mr. Coffee carafe, or an unfinished cup left in the basement next to his drums.
He liked his Irish Whiskey – Bushmills, Bushmills Black, Tullamore Dew . . .
He loved baked goods – his mom was a good baker, and favorites included her date bars, peanut butter cookies, and mincemeat pie. He luckily married into a baking family, so for the quarter of a century he was married to my mother, he enjoyed the baked goodies from my mom and the ladies on her side of the family.
Luckily the baked goods and dinners prepared by my Mom continued after they divorced, as Mom and Dad remained friends. He rarely turned down dinner and dessert at Mom’s house.
He didn’t prepare meals, he enjoyed them. And he longed for homemade food. Mom and Rich would invite him to their house for dinner, and when he didn’t have the energy to get out of the house, they often brought a meal to him. As well, his friends delivered home-cooked meals from time to time. He’d frequently call me to let me know what deliciousness was delivered for his weekly meals.
Some people love to cook and bake; Dad was the kind of person who loved to eat what others cooked and baked. The connection between the two – or at least it was in my family – is that homecooked meals brought us a sense of comfort.
It was that last Thanksgiving meal he enjoyed in his home with Mom, Rich and myself, that brought him comfort (although we didn’t know at the time it would be his last Thanksgiving). It was the Beef stroganoff mom brought for us in hospice that brought him comfort, he easily ate it with a a smile on his face.
These ‘final’ meals brought me comfort as well. At a time when he had very little appetite, and very little time in this world, he truly enjoyed these homemade meals. And I enjoyed being there with him for those meals.
While he rarely made meals himself, certain foods remind me of Dad – From burgers and steaks to date bars and peanut butter cookies.
This year, as his November birthday passed, I longed for peanut butter cookies – the tradition of making them for Dad had passed from his mother, to me, to Nicole. Now I feel a void, as he isn’t with us this year, but I turned to baking peanut butter cookies as a tradition.
And when the family gathered at our house this Thanksgiving, we enjoyed a shot of Bushmills in honor of Dad. This, along with the Thanksgiving meal, complete with mincemeat pie, brought back a sweet memory of the meal enjoyed last year at his home.
I guess what I’ve come to realize is that those things that influence my food memories, aren’t only about those who baked them, but also who was with me to enjoy them. So, whether you continue to cook and bake your family’s traditions, or your tradition is to head out to a restaurant for a special holiday meal, keep the traditions strong this holiday season.
